walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Randomize
