Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize
