Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
