you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
