Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize