And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I woke up under a house in Key West
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