his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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