There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize