You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
