I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
