Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
