he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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