He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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