we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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