I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
