I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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