Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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