I just saw a hot homeless man
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize