He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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