My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
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