Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Randomize
