i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
