"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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