Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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