I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
be right there i have to get my cape
Randomize
