in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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