Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
