fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize