Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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