didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
