I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
