this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
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