I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
