I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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