watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize