it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
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