I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
