Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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