I want to make a zoo with you.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
