I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Randomize