We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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