We're like a lot better than the average bears
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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