can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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