we made out on top of his cat.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
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