apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
