How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
