I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
