We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
