your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Randomize
