Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
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