she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize