I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Im part way to drunk.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Randomize
