I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
