i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
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