...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
and you said cock pushups were impossible
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
