I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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