3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
We are all done wearing pants today
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
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