My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
