Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
