I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Randomize
