Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I need moral support for this bender
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Randomize
