I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
