Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize