Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
