My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
