I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
