Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
