google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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